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Sociology
Introduction to Sociology Sociology is the study of society, human social action, and the incredibly obvious. Although invented by old white men, which is usually a good thing, most were godless communists or, worse yet, French. Sociology takes everything that our gut tells us to be true and makes it boring with facts. For example, one member of the sociological Factinista once wrote an article entitled "Banana Time," which found that workers in boring jobs goof off to pass time. Everyone already knew that, but now we know it in a really boring way thanks to sociology. Who’s Who in Sociology *August Comet: The founder of sociology who was named after both a month and a cleaning product. Some say his name is spelled Auguste Comte, but thats because they looked it up in a book, not their gut. He wrote about the three stages of societies: the Theological Stage, the Metaphysical or Abstract Stage, and the Positive Stage. The positive stage obviously refers to the stage when a society overcomes the negativity of liberal propaganda and enters a more positive stage of Christian Conservatism. *Emile Durkheim: Nothing important can be learned from a French man with a girl's name. Emily Durkheim wrote two books, both of which are full of facts and no heart. The first book, Suicide, looked at trends of suicide throughout Europe. You do not have to read this book to know in your gut that most suicides occur in liberal countries that lack good Christian morals. The other book, The Elementary Forms of the Religious Life, studied Australian aborigines to identify the common source of religion. Clearly, someone did not do their homework, as the source of all religion is our lord and saviour, Jesus Christ, not some heathen aborigines. *Karl Marx: The godless inventor of communism. Is it really a coincidence that sociology sounds a lot like socialism? Refer to the full article on Karl Marx to understand the damage this man has wrought. In the case of sociology, his influence is the reason your kid's professors are un-American liberal communists. He is known mainly for two books, The Communist Manifesto and Capital. The Communist Manifesto is required reading for all liberals because it's a short book, whereas no one reads Capital because it is really long and boring. *Max Weber: A man named after a grill who wrote about class, status, and party in his book entitled Economy and Society. His main argument centered around "ideal types" obviously referring to the high status Americans and the Republican Party. Freedom Facts *The majority of undergraduate majors in sociology are women. Nary a one shaves her legs or underarms, and most are feminazis. *Most students with a major in sociology currently work in either retail or fast food establishments. *The only men to study sociology are either gay, French, or men who want to be girls (i.e., French-gays). *Sociology graduate students have lower IQs and GPAs than any other type of graduate student, with the exception of anthropologists. Similarly, students that are friendless nerds in high school, but failed at math and science courses go on to major in sociology in college. *Nobody listens to sociologists. Seriously, when was the last time you saw a sociologist on The Colbert Report? Never, that’s when. *Sociology makes the baby Jesus cry. *All sociologists have un-American names. (see above) Strengths *Sociology provides college athletes with an easy major -- of course, they aren’t really studying it, so they escape unscathed. Without sociology, athletes would be forced to major in drama, thereby becoming too girly and incapable of being athletic. *Despite its irredemable communist roots, sociology is the most truthiness based academic discipline. As a result of lacking the statistical knowledge to actually prove their theories, most sociologists go with what their gut tells them is true despite any evidence to the contrary. Unfortunately, they are usually listening to the gut of a liberal. Further Reading *Michael S. Adams' accurate portrayal of sociology.